Foodie Asshole

When I went out for a night of clubbin' with some of my high school friends on my recent holiday trip to Houston, some of them needed nourishment before they could begin pounding alcohol.  Since I had never been to Chacho's before and my friends know how I feel about salsa bars, we all decided this is what had to happen.

Not too many words are necessary to describe The Chachos Experience.  The point is that you can order a taco or a torta or chalupas or fried tacos or fajitas or all sorts of breakfast foods including beloved breakfast tacos or any amount of Tex-Mex junk food, and then you get the mothafuckin' salsa bar:

Goddess Dressing

Cilantro Ranch!

So that you can spend two to four bucks on somethin' like one of these:

Small black bean nachos - $4.29

Pastor Taco with onions as a lettuce wrap for $2.99 + .19 for lettuce (which is kind of what the fuckish.  Is lettuce really more expensive than a tortilla?)

Bean and Cheese Quesadillas served with guacamole, sour cream, lettuce and tomato - "Half " for $2.99 or, as would've been pictured if my friends had let me take a picture before they'd already eaten half of it, "Full" for $5.29.

So after dropping a couple bucks on some meat or beans and cheese, you can grab some bowls or, if you're like me, a plate, and load up from the salsa bars:

Normal people salsa bar bowls

An Arielle-sized plate of salsa pillagings

They also sell beer and margaritas.  Sweet.

Open 24 Hours!!!

And then you can go get wasted and then come back and spend a few more bucks and do a little o' this action:

Carne Guisada - $2.99 + .19 for lettuce

Chicken Fajita with Onions - $3.29 + .19 for low carb tortilla

This was good.  I ordered it on a low carb tortilla, which they rang up correctly but gave to me on lettuce.

I got a side of fries 'cause I wanted to dip them in every sauce from the sauce bar, but this was way too many.  I give them a 4/10 rating - $1.99

I should've ordered a torta so that I could've had a side size of fries with them, which surely would've been more reasonable.

I had another fuckin' salsa bar salad.

 Oh I fucking love eating when I'm drunk.  You don't have to feel the guilt till tomorrow!

Apparently you can get pancakes and syrup here too.  One for $1.39, two for $2.69, three for $3.99.  Take that, IHOP!  Go fuck yourself, Denny's!

"And I said, hell yeah, hell yeah, hell yeah, fuckin' right, fuckin' right, all right," to quote Drake.

So there are some problems with the place, but, shit, you can get down on that salsa bar on the cheap.